10 Years on YouTube

On February 25, 2014, I posted my first YouTube video.

I remember the time before I had posted my first video. I had stopped pursuing fashion blogging and wanted to take my art seriously.

Since I was young, I’ve always loved documenting my life through video. As an 80’s baby, my family and I always had the camcorder on. My Dad would film our family road trips to SF, Las Vegas, Disneyland, and Knotts Berry Farm. My siblings, cousins and I would film skits, magic tricks, and TV shows. Those were my favorite times as a kid! Ever since then, I’ve always been that person with a camera documenting moments with loved ones.

One of the main reasons why I wanted to start a YouTube channel was to improve my communication skills. I struggled with communication growing up and felt like I couldn’t fully express myself through words. I was very soft-spoken, stuttered when excited and nervous, and words didn’t flow easily. Over the past ten years, my communication has improved immensely. Sure, I still struggle with getting my point across and get tongue-tied often, but I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I still have a fear of being perceived, judged, and vulnerable, but as I became comfortable posting my videos online, I realized that if I gave a shit about what others thought, then I wouldn’t have been able to build a genuine community, have gained opportunities, met new friends, and inspired many people all over the world.

My YouTube channel has undergone many transformations, deaths, and rebirths. It makes sense because my channel is a Scorpio (I made my account on Nov 18, 2013), Lol. I’ve changed my content quite a lot, which confused my subscribers. I often thought that if I had stuck with a specific niche, I would’ve reached over 100,000 subscribers by now. It used to discourage me when I saw other art YouTubers reaching a big milestone, and I was here, constantly changing and questioning everything.

When I had gone through my first spiritual awakening in 2016, my perspective on making content has changed. I was no longer obsessed with wanting to be a “famous” YouTuber and having one million subscribers. Sure, it would be nice to reach one of those milestones, but as I got older, it didn’t matter anymore. I continue to make videos because I LOVE making them. I continue to show up and share my gifts with the world because I know that at least one person is inspired by it. The fact that I have a handful of people supporting me over the past 8-10 years and continuing to express their gratitude means the world to me! I learned that if you have a gift, you MUST share it. When you share that gift, you are being of service to others. And when you continue to be of service, all of that good energy comes back to you tenfold. So, don’t deprive others of your gift, because what you have to share, big or small, MATTERS. You might even change someone’s life for the better.

I’m glad I had the confidence to hit record and post my first video ten years ago. I love having visual documentation of my growth as an Artist. I may not be where I had thought I’d be, but I’ve learned to surrender and trust that my path toward my goals and true purpose will be all worth it. I’ve embraced my slow growth and the process of creating. And quite frankly, I’d rather have a lasting impact than be an overnight success.

All I know is that I’m here on this earth to share LOVE through all forms, and making videos is an extension of that. Sharing my love of life through my art and videos is what my soul loves so I will continue to do just that :)

So, cheers to ten fun years on YouTube and for many more years to come!

Also, if you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you so very much! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for your love and support x100000!

A Meal to Remember Art Exhibition

On May 11, 2023, I participated in my first group art exhibition! Thank you to ARTS (A Reason to Survive), especially Barbara Salazar, for inviting me and curating this fun exhibition. I’m so honored to have my work alongside four other amazing Artists in San Diego—women at that! GRL PWR 😊❤️

A Meal to Remember will be in view until June 1, 2023. If you’re in San Diego and you’d love to see my work in person, gallery hours are Tuesdays and Thursdays, 12 pm-4 pm. Head on over to their website for more information: https://www.areasontosurvive.org/

Work In Progress: Seattle Zine

I started my Seattle Zine a little over a year ago, and it’s been such a satisfying project for me so far. I’ve been wanting to make a zine for several years and what often hindered me was the act of starting something new. I felt like I didn’t have enough knowledge, self-doubt repeatedly kicked in, issues around self-worth constantly showed up, etc. But, I suddenly got tired of getting in my own way. So, I finally started it.

As a true Taurus rising, I’ve been taking my time at it. I don’t like to rush through projects. I’m very organized and intentional with how I’m setting up each page. When I illustrate my travels or scenes from my daily life, it brings me feelings of joy and calmness. It brings me to a meditative and creative flow state which I love!

I currently have 6 pages left, and the process has been so beautiful. I can’t wait to put it all together and bring it into physical form for everyone to see :)

Life Without Social Media

At the end of 2022, I decided to leave Instagram and Tiktok. As an empath, I’m surprised I didn’t leave sooner!

I thought these social media platforms were vital for my creativity and growth as an Artist. I know it has helped other creatives grow a following and to get their work seen by many, but over the last several years it has been frustrating for me. EXTREMELY frustrating. With all the inevitable changes these social platforms were going through, it was hard to keep up. I felt like my work wasn’t getting the recognition it deserved, and Instagram just wasn’t bringing me joy. Instagram for me felt like high school all over again. It felt very competitive in an unhealthy way, which isn’t the environment I wanted to be in. I want to take up space where I can be myself and where we all can genuinely uplift and support one another. Yes, it can be a totally different experience for someone else, but for me, Instagram just wasn’t the vibe.

As a 2/4 sacral Generator in Human Design, I had to listen to my gut. If you don’t know what Human Design is, it’s a powerful system all about self-exploration that combines ancient and modern beliefs (Astrology, I’Ching, Chakra system, and Kabbalistic Tree of Life). Listening to our gut/sacral center is how Generators best make decisions. So, when I asked myself, “Do Instagram and Tiktok excite me?” The instant sensations in my body were tightness in my chest and stomach. When that happens, the answer is a full-body NO. If something is a full-body YES, there’s this expansive feeling in my body, I smile from ear to ear, and I will 99.9% of the time do a happy dance. Yes, a happy dance! Especially when it comes to food, lol.

So, since I felt a full-body NO when it came to Instagram and Tiktok, I immediately deactivated both social media accounts. Also, the “Not-Self Theme” for Generators is frustration. So the fact that Instagram especially brought so much frustration in me, I knew that platform just wasn’t for me.

Now, the only social media I use is YouTube. Personally, I see YouTube more as entertainment and a valuable tool for information. Sure, I comment and respond to comments every now and then, but I don’t socialize there as I did on Instagram and Tiktok. Ever since I started my channel back in 2014, YouTube has consistently brought me the most joy and I’m ALWAYS excited to make video content. The reason why making videos excites me is that it brings me back to my childhood when my siblings, cousins, and I used to film our own tv shows and skits on our camcorders. So basically, creating videos heals my inner child. 😊❤️ I feel like I can truly show up as my authentic self, grow a genuine community, and expand my creativity.

I’ve also decided to bring back my blog! Blogs have evolved over the years, but they’re certainly not dead. Back when LiveJournal, Myspace, Tumblr, and Blogspot were still relevant, blogging was my favorite outlet. I miss sharing my thoughts and insights through writing, especially when it’s hard for me to fully articulate through my voice. I mainly want to keep this for myself, but if my blog reaches and inspires others all over the world, then that’s a bonus!

One major takeaway I’ve gained from leaving Instagram and Tiktok is that I don’t have to follow the same formula that most successful Artists take. I can gain success doing things my way and focusing on the platforms that I feel most connected to. I guess you can say I like to march to the beat of my own drum. People may not understand what I do initially, but I’m okay with being misunderstood. I know that as long as I show up and do what I love, I will naturally attract the right community for me.

Anyway, life without social media so far has been amazing, peaceful, and productive. 10/10 I would highly recommend it. I no longer crave that dopamine rush from scrolling mindlessly on social media. What I crave most is the present moment. Being here, living life, focusing on what I love, spending quality time with those I love, nourishing my soul with mindfulness activities, and appreciating the little things in life. I truly enjoy my own company. I’m the type of person who loves solitude. Solitude is the best way to understand yourself, and when you understand yourself, you realize that you already have everything within you. You don’t look for anything outside of yourself for validation. You are amazing, you are peace, you are love, you are abundant…just as you are ✨

Of course in typical Pisces (sun & mercury) fashion, I had to get all deep and philosophical. lol.

That’s it for my first blog post. I hope you enjoyed it! I’ll be posting on here whenever I feel called to.